I love to plan, to organize, to be ready on time - or early if possible. And so, writing this post after it was supposed to go live gives me anxiety. Certainly not because there are thousands of adoring fans waiting, with bated breath, for this post to drop; rather, because promptness and organization gives me some semblance of purpose and control.
Leaving things unfinished or unkempt feels like failure - as if being well-kept, punctual and perpetually organized is indicative of a well-lived life. As if another person's belief that you live a 'perfect' life is actually important. In reality, it's hard to internalize that it's not important, and to live in the moment and do the next right thing. But, it's something I'm working on - and undoubtedly need to keep working on.
Of course, having a 'lifestyle blog' doesn't necessarily engender the messiness of life. Because who wants to see pictures of someone's dirty laundry? You succeed through the illusion of perfection - none of what we see (or what we project) is real. So, I'll be honest. I left my apartment with the bed unmade, my new puppy's kennel unassembled and my bags still packed. I was late to work. I'm tired. I'm writing this post at work. And I'm certainly not wearing this outfit right now.
Alright, enough thinking... More shopping...