Last September, after being offered a full-time job upon graduation, I began to plan for the life I was sure I'd have after college: moved out of West Campus to downtown Austin, dropped a major in order to work more hours, bought adult furniture. In February, after leaving the same job I thought would be the foundation of my career, I began to plan for the life I was now sure I'd have after graduation: updated my resume, cleaned out closets in preparation for a move, bought business casual pieces, looked at apartments in Houston and Dallas, went on interviews. In April, after re-applying to finish my Psychology coursework fully expecting to be turned down by the department, I was readmitted and registered for the remaining required credits.
Now, I'm facing graduation (or, at least the part where I walk across the stage) from a vantage point totally different from that which I imagined first in September, then reimagined in February. Since September, I've been preparing and planning (then re-planning) for the life I thought I'd have, only to find that it's not what I expected, nor what I necessarily want. So, for now, I'm done trying to anticipate and plan for what's coming next, as it's literally left me not only dressing for a job I don't have, but don't want.
I've put a lot of importance behind being "ready" and "prepared" for "my future," where "my future" is whatever happens after I graduate. And yes, I feel anxious, even guilty, that it's being postponed, even if it's to finish a third major - summer classes aren't what I expected last September, February or even March. But, as I've (unwillingly) discovered, the things I expect least are often what's best for me.
And, in case you have a job you'd like to shop for...
Trousers (had to get mine hemmed, obv)